How do you keep it in focus, and prioritized? It is a struggle everyday for me to "stop and smell the roses," or even harder to count my blessings. I know I have so much to be thankful for but, there is no time to stop and think about it. I run from one pressing thing to the next, just wishing for a moment of peace where no one is expecting anything from me.
Is it worth all the disappointment to accomplish everything that I think I want? I am not so sure today that I really do want all that I have set out to get. I realized this week that my children are suffering from my lack of attention. My priorities have gotten out of order and I am not sure how to get them back into order. My husband is withdrawn, I know he gets this way without my near constant attention but, I have been so busy that I don't have time to hold his hand. So now I don't even have his help through the everyday battles because he's self absorbed.
I want to put my children in a private Christian school in hopes that it will help them focus. I hate that we are so "in this world." That may not make sense to everyone else but to me it means that we aren't putting God first in our lives. Everything falls apart when He isn't first and I am so distracted that I guess I am hoping that if the kids were in a more Christ oriented setting every day that maybe they could hold it together without my constant attention. Really I just wish that they could go to public school without all the influence of the world but, that's impossible it seems. There are simply so few people teaching their children about God that people are just mean. There is no kindness, forgiveness, or compassion anymore.
I just pray for clarity in making these decisions that affect so much more than me and my desires...
