So obviously I don't have the hang of blogging....I am working on trying to keep my sanity in the everyday life I live! But I am going to try again anyway and maybe get a post for two consecutive days this time. I am still struggling to juggle raising my family, going to school, and working a high stress job; it's coming together one day at a time though.
So this week the challenge is as always finances to support three growing children while working part time. Making my husbands salary stretch is a trick for sure. I have been taking advice from other bloggers and some wisdom from the great Dave Ramsey; in general what I have learned is that I am a product of my environment! I don't like to wait and earn the things that I want. I also want a lot more than I actually need!
Goals for me are to acknowledge the difference between want and need. Then to decide is this thing that I want worth the time it will take me to save the cash to buy it? No more instant gratification, if it's worth my money then it's going to have to be significant! Another goal is to begin teaching my children the value of their time and money. We are starting with taking care of their current possessions and saving 10% of their income.
The first step to finances is always budget followed by decision. I have to decide to stay within my budget and live on less than what we bring home. It feels very good to pay off debt and I plan to be debt free in two years so I have to live on less than I make to see that happen. Everyday choices to be frugal are not alway satisfying but I am finding that end result of saving money and paying off debt is so worth it!
Have a great day out there and remember you are worth the effort it takes to make it through today!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Friday, November 19, 2010
Josiah's 1st Birthday
I don't know where the year has gone, but my baby is turning one! Life will sneak past you if you let it, so I am trying to treasure every day with my family. I wish that life didn't feel like a rat race most days. I am trying to learn to let go of the little things that just hold us back and really appreciate all the important stuff like snuggling with my babies after another busy day. I can't wait to celebrate Josiah's birthday with our friends and family, it's going to be a great day!
Piece of Cake Birthday
Shutterfly birthday cards and birthday party invitations.
View the entire collection of cards.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Life Overwhelming
It's so easy to let life become overwhelming. Bills pile up, housework falls behind, the children have so much to do, work is frustrating, school is hard, and your husband is non-existent through it all.
How do you keep it in focus, and prioritized? It is a struggle everyday for me to "stop and smell the roses," or even harder to count my blessings. I know I have so much to be thankful for but, there is no time to stop and think about it. I run from one pressing thing to the next, just wishing for a moment of peace where no one is expecting anything from me.
Is it worth all the disappointment to accomplish everything that I think I want? I am not so sure today that I really do want all that I have set out to get. I realized this week that my children are suffering from my lack of attention. My priorities have gotten out of order and I am not sure how to get them back into order. My husband is withdrawn, I know he gets this way without my near constant attention but, I have been so busy that I don't have time to hold his hand. So now I don't even have his help through the everyday battles because he's self absorbed.
I want to put my children in a private Christian school in hopes that it will help them focus. I hate that we are so "in this world." That may not make sense to everyone else but to me it means that we aren't putting God first in our lives. Everything falls apart when He isn't first and I am so distracted that I guess I am hoping that if the kids were in a more Christ oriented setting every day that maybe they could hold it together without my constant attention. Really I just wish that they could go to public school without all the influence of the world but, that's impossible it seems. There are simply so few people teaching their children about God that people are just mean. There is no kindness, forgiveness, or compassion anymore.
I just pray for clarity in making these decisions that affect so much more than me and my desires...
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Guilt
Who ever knew that once you became a mother there would be so much guilt? No one warns you about the never ending guilt, the books don't mention it or how to deal with it. Lets see when does it begin...well probably during pregnancy when you start feeling guilty for not exercising during your exhaustion or the guilt that sneaks up while you are eating that piece of cake at 2am. It only gets worse from there, are you planning to breastfeed? use clothe diapers? only feed him organic baby food? There are so many things to decide and then feel guilty about, and why? Why do we beat or selves up for doing the best that we can? Is it worth it? No of course it isn't! but we do it anyway and it doesn't make sense.
As a mother that has experienced my fair share of guilt, I question where the guilt comes from and challenge you to not feel guilty for not being able to settle the crying baby. Don't feel bad when you give in a feed him a bottle with formula because you have nursed him for the last hour and he still acts hungry! Stop beating yourself up because you let him sleep in the swing last night so that you could sleep too! Why do we strive to be perfect when we know that it's impossible? Does it matter to anyone really? If we admitted our faults and stopped pretending to be this perfect mom maybe others would stop beating themselves over the head for not getting it 100% either!
Women need to support each other instead of beating each other up, we need to hold our heads high when we figure out how to get the baby to sleep regardless, if that means he is in your bed then be safe and relish in the fact that you got 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep! Don't stare open mouthed at your friend when she tells you that after 2 minutes of screaming she picked her baby up and said to hell with letting her cry herself to sleep! If it feels wrong then don't do it, who cares if the baby book says to let him be and he'll stop screaming. If you don't want to let him cry it out then don't, no one is going to call the baby police and turn you in for cuddling up with your baby and rocking him to sleep. There is no baby police and if you feel like these books are leading you in the wrong direction then put the book down and follow your heart!
I have successfully raised 2 children past infant hood and while I said I was doing it "the right way" the third time around, I find myself sleeping with my baby and feeling guilty for going back to work while he is still unable to even roll over on his own. I can't change it and unless I want to let my car be repo'd or have the electric shut off I have to work. I don't like it but that is the cold hard truth! I don't need anyone to point out my flaws for I am sure that no one can do it as well as I do myself. I just need support and a pat on the back for getting up every day and trying again to get through the day with out crying because I am not doing it by the book.
As a mother that has experienced my fair share of guilt, I question where the guilt comes from and challenge you to not feel guilty for not being able to settle the crying baby. Don't feel bad when you give in a feed him a bottle with formula because you have nursed him for the last hour and he still acts hungry! Stop beating yourself up because you let him sleep in the swing last night so that you could sleep too! Why do we strive to be perfect when we know that it's impossible? Does it matter to anyone really? If we admitted our faults and stopped pretending to be this perfect mom maybe others would stop beating themselves over the head for not getting it 100% either!
Women need to support each other instead of beating each other up, we need to hold our heads high when we figure out how to get the baby to sleep regardless, if that means he is in your bed then be safe and relish in the fact that you got 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep! Don't stare open mouthed at your friend when she tells you that after 2 minutes of screaming she picked her baby up and said to hell with letting her cry herself to sleep! If it feels wrong then don't do it, who cares if the baby book says to let him be and he'll stop screaming. If you don't want to let him cry it out then don't, no one is going to call the baby police and turn you in for cuddling up with your baby and rocking him to sleep. There is no baby police and if you feel like these books are leading you in the wrong direction then put the book down and follow your heart!
I have successfully raised 2 children past infant hood and while I said I was doing it "the right way" the third time around, I find myself sleeping with my baby and feeling guilty for going back to work while he is still unable to even roll over on his own. I can't change it and unless I want to let my car be repo'd or have the electric shut off I have to work. I don't like it but that is the cold hard truth! I don't need anyone to point out my flaws for I am sure that no one can do it as well as I do myself. I just need support and a pat on the back for getting up every day and trying again to get through the day with out crying because I am not doing it by the book.
Friday, January 8, 2010
The Incredible Shrinking Baby
Well the baby isn't really shrinking but he isn't gaining any weight which is just as scary to me. I have never encountered this problem with my other children so it is alarming. I am feeding him every 2-3 hours and he doesn't act like he's still hungry so I am confused about his lack of weight gain. Well very little weight gain anyway he was 8.1lbs when he was born, he was 7.6lbs when we went home 4 days later and at 2 weeks he was 7.5lbs! Yesterday when we had him weighed again he was up to 7.7lbs so that is an improvement but the question is if he can keep it on...We'll keep trying and hopefully he'll start catching up and get hefty soon.
I am surprised at how different things are this time around, having two older children does make things a little easier. The kids are very helpful so far, we just have to figure out how to keep the 10 year old off the baby, she wants to hold him all the time and you can't convince her that he isn't a doll!
I am surprised at how different things are this time around, having two older children does make things a little easier. The kids are very helpful so far, we just have to figure out how to keep the 10 year old off the baby, she wants to hold him all the time and you can't convince her that he isn't a doll!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Baby Josiah
I haven't wrote a blog in so long I have enough to write 4 or 5 blogs! Well the biggest thing that has happened since I last posted is Josiah's birth. On December 19th after much anxiety and anticipation Josiah Charles Reeves joined our family by way of emergency c-section. I'll start with the night he was born and work from there so it makes sense...
Friday,December 18th I got ready for work at the hospital, expecting my shift to be one of my last before the baby arrived, but not realizing it would be the last. I was scheduled to work a 7pm-7am shift and it started out like any other Friday night at work. I had 5 patients and after introducing myself to all of them I got my medications ready for my 9pm med pass and got to work...I had a busy set of patients and one new admission so I was pretty busy. Around 9pm I went to the nurses station to sit down and chart a little bit, and look at orders when I noticed some low back pain and nausea that had been plaguing me all day. I mentioned it to my charge nurse and all the nurses on the floor decided that I needed to go to OB and get checked to be sure I wasn't in labor. I didn't feel like I was in labor and insisted that it was nothing. My charge nurse pulled rank and called our supervisor who also insisted I go get checked. So feeling like an idiot and not expecting anything at all to be going on I clocked out and went to OB where my whole night took an unexpected turn...
I let the nurses know what was going on and that I expected nothing out of the ordinary to be going on. I was working and it is a hard job and I was just more tired being 38 weeks pregnant than I normally am. So they took my clothes and gave me a gown and hooked me up to the monitors. Well at first I didn't notice anything abnormal but then they kept checking the monitors and eventually they brought in an ultra sound machine and while they were looking at the baby I noticed for the first time that something wasn't right with his heart. It was beating really fast and then one of the nurses explained that the baby was in SVT-now I am not a cardiac nurse but I know that isn't a good thing, it means that his heart was beating too fast. Josiah's heart rate had been running around 140 at all of my OB appointments and now was up to 240, this is not good for an unborn baby. So they called the on call doc and I called my husband to tell him he should probably come to the hospital now. All the while I am trying to remain calm so he doesn't realize how scared I am...so from there I got a catheter, and IV and very nearly broken heart as I waited to find out what would happen next.
Well being a nurse and knowing that the baby's heart was involved I automatically assumed they would want to do a c-section so that he wasn't under any further stress. I didn't realize yet that I would have to go to another hospital to do this but it would of course make sense to be at a hospital with a NICU as opposed to flying the baby after he was born...so the nurse gave me a heads up and I let the doc know that if I was leaving I wanted to go to St. Louis so the baby could go to Children's Hospital. Well they were busy with their own emergency and couldn't talk to my doctor so my next option was Columbia, where my friend Candice had just had her baby 5 days before. So since it was snowing and they could not fly us in the helicopter (thank you God) we got to ride to Columbia in an ambulance on a hard as rock stretcher with the lights and sirens blaring! What a ride, all the way to Columbia with no monitors at all on the baby!! let's just say God and I had a nice long chat on the way, and I made it without the panic attack that never felt farther than a breathe away taking over.
I arrived shortly before my husband, mother and best friend that drove like maniacs after us. Four doctors introduced themselves and accompanied by their own ultrasound machine began to exam my, still in distress, unborn baby. I would just like to say that I have never been so scared in my life, and must have offered myself in his place a thousands times in those few short hours. God being the gracious God that He is spared us both and after an unexpected surgery and enough panic for a lifetime my third child was born and whisked away to the NICU before I ever got more than a glimpse of him.
Nine very long and drugged hours later I finally got to meet the little guy that couldn't make an ordinary entrance. The doctors were pleased with his health and were unable to detect any defect in his heart. So weighing in at 8 pounds 1 oz and 21 inches long, Josiah Charles Reeves was born at 0301 in Columbia Regional Hospital.
I had never had surgery before and this being unexpected I wasn't quite prepared for the next few days and all the discomfort that accompanies a c-section. I made it though and I have a new respect for my patients! After 4 days in the hospital and learning that Percocet is my friend I got to go home with our new baby!
It has been pins and needles really, I am constantly checking to see if he is breathing and I am scared to let him sleep on his own, so 17 days in he is still sleeping on my chest because I am afraid to let him go. I know this is irrational but for today I am going to be irrational and keep him close enough to feel every breathe he takes.
Friday,December 18th I got ready for work at the hospital, expecting my shift to be one of my last before the baby arrived, but not realizing it would be the last. I was scheduled to work a 7pm-7am shift and it started out like any other Friday night at work. I had 5 patients and after introducing myself to all of them I got my medications ready for my 9pm med pass and got to work...I had a busy set of patients and one new admission so I was pretty busy. Around 9pm I went to the nurses station to sit down and chart a little bit, and look at orders when I noticed some low back pain and nausea that had been plaguing me all day. I mentioned it to my charge nurse and all the nurses on the floor decided that I needed to go to OB and get checked to be sure I wasn't in labor. I didn't feel like I was in labor and insisted that it was nothing. My charge nurse pulled rank and called our supervisor who also insisted I go get checked. So feeling like an idiot and not expecting anything at all to be going on I clocked out and went to OB where my whole night took an unexpected turn...
I let the nurses know what was going on and that I expected nothing out of the ordinary to be going on. I was working and it is a hard job and I was just more tired being 38 weeks pregnant than I normally am. So they took my clothes and gave me a gown and hooked me up to the monitors. Well at first I didn't notice anything abnormal but then they kept checking the monitors and eventually they brought in an ultra sound machine and while they were looking at the baby I noticed for the first time that something wasn't right with his heart. It was beating really fast and then one of the nurses explained that the baby was in SVT-now I am not a cardiac nurse but I know that isn't a good thing, it means that his heart was beating too fast. Josiah's heart rate had been running around 140 at all of my OB appointments and now was up to 240, this is not good for an unborn baby. So they called the on call doc and I called my husband to tell him he should probably come to the hospital now. All the while I am trying to remain calm so he doesn't realize how scared I am...so from there I got a catheter, and IV and very nearly broken heart as I waited to find out what would happen next.
Well being a nurse and knowing that the baby's heart was involved I automatically assumed they would want to do a c-section so that he wasn't under any further stress. I didn't realize yet that I would have to go to another hospital to do this but it would of course make sense to be at a hospital with a NICU as opposed to flying the baby after he was born...so the nurse gave me a heads up and I let the doc know that if I was leaving I wanted to go to St. Louis so the baby could go to Children's Hospital. Well they were busy with their own emergency and couldn't talk to my doctor so my next option was Columbia, where my friend Candice had just had her baby 5 days before. So since it was snowing and they could not fly us in the helicopter (thank you God) we got to ride to Columbia in an ambulance on a hard as rock stretcher with the lights and sirens blaring! What a ride, all the way to Columbia with no monitors at all on the baby!! let's just say God and I had a nice long chat on the way, and I made it without the panic attack that never felt farther than a breathe away taking over.
I arrived shortly before my husband, mother and best friend that drove like maniacs after us. Four doctors introduced themselves and accompanied by their own ultrasound machine began to exam my, still in distress, unborn baby. I would just like to say that I have never been so scared in my life, and must have offered myself in his place a thousands times in those few short hours. God being the gracious God that He is spared us both and after an unexpected surgery and enough panic for a lifetime my third child was born and whisked away to the NICU before I ever got more than a glimpse of him.
Nine very long and drugged hours later I finally got to meet the little guy that couldn't make an ordinary entrance. The doctors were pleased with his health and were unable to detect any defect in his heart. So weighing in at 8 pounds 1 oz and 21 inches long, Josiah Charles Reeves was born at 0301 in Columbia Regional Hospital.
I had never had surgery before and this being unexpected I wasn't quite prepared for the next few days and all the discomfort that accompanies a c-section. I made it though and I have a new respect for my patients! After 4 days in the hospital and learning that Percocet is my friend I got to go home with our new baby!
It has been pins and needles really, I am constantly checking to see if he is breathing and I am scared to let him sleep on his own, so 17 days in he is still sleeping on my chest because I am afraid to let him go. I know this is irrational but for today I am going to be irrational and keep him close enough to feel every breathe he takes.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Week 29
Josiah is awake and kicking me as often as possible today. He must be running out of room because I can feel him move above my belly button and at the bottom of my uterus at the same time! Only 11 weeks to go until his due date and I am really hoping that we don’t go the full 40 weeks. I have started noticing some Braxton Hicks contractions and I have also noticed that the baby gets wedged up against my diaphragm and I can’t breathe unless I stand up for a while and he moves back down.
On a more personal note I have once again outgrown my new bras and will have to make another trip to the maternity store for more nursing bras…these things are huge already I don’t think I will be able to hold myself up once my milk comes in!! The kids are really enjoying being able to feel the baby move now and last night Benjamin was amazed that Josiah kicked his hand off my belly when he was trying to feel him. I have washed the clothes that I have gathered for him and they are hanging in my closet just waiting…I am getting anxious at this point and I would like the next couple of months to go by quickly. I am sure once it is time for delivery I will be taking that back but for now I am done and ready to see this little guy. Oh and I have heard a couple of women have had babies that were supposed to be girls and turned out to be boys I pray that he really is a boy b/c I can’t handle any more unexpected surprises this year!!
On a more personal note I have once again outgrown my new bras and will have to make another trip to the maternity store for more nursing bras…these things are huge already I don’t think I will be able to hold myself up once my milk comes in!! The kids are really enjoying being able to feel the baby move now and last night Benjamin was amazed that Josiah kicked his hand off my belly when he was trying to feel him. I have washed the clothes that I have gathered for him and they are hanging in my closet just waiting…I am getting anxious at this point and I would like the next couple of months to go by quickly. I am sure once it is time for delivery I will be taking that back but for now I am done and ready to see this little guy. Oh and I have heard a couple of women have had babies that were supposed to be girls and turned out to be boys I pray that he really is a boy b/c I can’t handle any more unexpected surprises this year!!
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