Who ever knew that once you became a mother there would be so much guilt? No one warns you about the never ending guilt, the books don't mention it or how to deal with it. Lets see when does it begin...well probably during pregnancy when you start feeling guilty for not exercising during your exhaustion or the guilt that sneaks up while you are eating that piece of cake at 2am. It only gets worse from there, are you planning to breastfeed? use clothe diapers? only feed him organic baby food? There are so many things to decide and then feel guilty about, and why? Why do we beat or selves up for doing the best that we can? Is it worth it? No of course it isn't! but we do it anyway and it doesn't make sense.
As a mother that has experienced my fair share of guilt, I question where the guilt comes from and challenge you to not feel guilty for not being able to settle the crying baby. Don't feel bad when you give in a feed him a bottle with formula because you have nursed him for the last hour and he still acts hungry! Stop beating yourself up because you let him sleep in the swing last night so that you could sleep too! Why do we strive to be perfect when we know that it's impossible? Does it matter to anyone really? If we admitted our faults and stopped pretending to be this perfect mom maybe others would stop beating themselves over the head for not getting it 100% either!
Women need to support each other instead of beating each other up, we need to hold our heads high when we figure out how to get the baby to sleep regardless, if that means he is in your bed then be safe and relish in the fact that you got 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep! Don't stare open mouthed at your friend when she tells you that after 2 minutes of screaming she picked her baby up and said to hell with letting her cry herself to sleep! If it feels wrong then don't do it, who cares if the baby book says to let him be and he'll stop screaming. If you don't want to let him cry it out then don't, no one is going to call the baby police and turn you in for cuddling up with your baby and rocking him to sleep. There is no baby police and if you feel like these books are leading you in the wrong direction then put the book down and follow your heart!
I have successfully raised 2 children past infant hood and while I said I was doing it "the right way" the third time around, I find myself sleeping with my baby and feeling guilty for going back to work while he is still unable to even roll over on his own. I can't change it and unless I want to let my car be repo'd or have the electric shut off I have to work. I don't like it but that is the cold hard truth! I don't need anyone to point out my flaws for I am sure that no one can do it as well as I do myself. I just need support and a pat on the back for getting up every day and trying again to get through the day with out crying because I am not doing it by the book.
